In retrospect I have identified three stages in my leadership growth journey.  Each stage was critical to the development of my "muscle memory" of leadership.  While I list the levels separately, my learning was and continues to be integrated across all levels.   Maybe my journey will help you in yours.

Level I Developing Individual Competence:  

• Developing knowledge about the characteristics of the best leaders through observation and scholarship;
• Developing competence in the technical skills required in the organization i.e., multi-level communication; decision making; strategic vision development, conflict resolution; organizational development, stakeholder participation and engagement, budget development, meeting management, staff selection, delegation strategies, etc;
• Understanding personal strengths and limitations.

Level II Developing Others:

• Attracting, retaining, and building the capacity of the best people for the organization;
• Recognizing and demonstrating that organizational development is inextricably linked to intentionally developing the strengths and capacities of its people;
• Implementing quality operating systems and processes;
• Building the relationships and practices required for the operation of highly functional teams;
• Implementing decision making structures reflective of organizational needs;
• Establishing a culture of trust and accountability.

Level III Developing System Integrity

• Reliance on the interdependence and commitment of components of the system to the mission of the organization;
• Understanding the impact of external forces to the organization and its systems;
• Development of partnerships of mutual benefit with external individuals and organizations;
• Implementing the discipline of data-informed, mission driven action;
• Understanding of how all of the individual and team work creates results that exceed client/customer expectations

The muscle memory to respond quickly when necessary — and with integrity — always came from the crucible containing a knowledge of self; trust and reliance on others; and belief in a system mission and vision that guides not only long range plans and action but also all emergency responses.

Fortunately, years later, I really got it!  Now, with some successes and more than a few scars earned in the arena of public leadership, Sister’s comment is no longer a mystery.  I believe that before you can be the best leader you must understand yourself.  Knowledge of self is the foundation of acting with integrity and courage.  It is the source of your personal passion and purpose in life.  It is critical as you seek to serve and lead others well.

To begin to know yourself here are questions to consider:

• What is your passion and purpose in life?  How have you demonstrated that passion and purpose in your life?  How do others describe your passion?
• Where do you draw your line in the sand?  What do you stand for?   When have you taken a stand?  What happened?
• What are your strengths and competencies?  What is your best work?  When do you do your best work?
• What do you fear as a leader, or what wakes you up at 2:38 AM?  Why?  What is your typical response to fear?
• What are your areas of weakness?  How have you responded to this awareness?
• How do you recharge your batteries?
• How do you prefer to receive information?
• How do you make decisions?
• How do you do your work?

You will note that some of the questions are about what you believe or value.  Others are about how you function.  A clear understanding of personal beliefs, passions and values coupled with an assessment of functional preferences and skills are important for leading others.

There are a variety of ways to gain insight into this self-knowledge.  A tool I find extremely valuable is the Myers Briggs Typology Indicator.  In the hands of a certified trainer, I found the information this tool provided invaluable.  Its use positively impacted both my professional and personal life.  It helped me better understand where I regenerated my energy, how I preferred to gather information, how I made decisions, and how I approached my work.  It took what I knew subconsciously and brought it to a conscious level.  Further study and interaction with others helped me understand how my preferences, actions and assumptions were sometimes helpful and at other times not beneficial in interactions. 

Another very valuable way to gain personal insight is to listen to others talk about you.  By this I do not mean crouching around corners and eavesdropping.  Rather, I suggest a more direct approach.  I scheduled coffee conversations or walks with people that knew me from a wide variety of experiences.  I chose a former boss, a vocal critic, a person I supervised in the past, a friend, my spouse, and a colleague.  You get the idea.  Before each meeting I gave each person a sense of why we were meeting – and then donned my virtual Kevlar.  At the meeting, I asked each one to talk about how my work and actions affected theirs and what they saw as my greatest strengths.  I also invited observations and advice about my leadership.  I asked how I might improve.  I took notes.

The result was humbling.  I had pages of people’s honest, thoughtful, and care-full responses.  Everyone with whom I met provided deep insights that were supported by real situations.  I was honored by their time and commitment to my growth and development.  My imperfections, though apparent, were not the focus.  My strengths were the focus of each conversation. 

Including these perceptions with gathered from more typical sources of feedback such as survey’s and performance reviews added depth to my self understanding and helped me be a better leader.  Sister Augustine would be so proud.

What happens next?  Build on the strengths and surround yourself with people  who have other strengths and let the fun begin. 

• Know and live their personal purpose and mission;
• Act in ways that are courageous and consistent with the values they profess;
• Demonstrate a commitment to personal learning and growth;
• Recognize peoples’ personal strengths as the resource for the greatest personal, professional, and organizational growth;
• Build respectful relationships with the people with whom they live and work;
• Generate clarity, hope, and confidence in the future while dispassionately assessing the relevant facts of the current context;
• Relentlessly pursue data-informed, mission-driven action;
• Align resource allocation with the mission of the organization they serve;
• Establish intelligent decision-making, assessment, and refinement processes;
• Set a high bar for performance accountability for everyone; and,
• Serve others and support their growth and development.

These leaders take pride in the accomplishment of others and yet are personally humble.  They are powerful and yet unassuming.  They are gentle and yet fierce.  They know their strengths and those of others.   In other words, they know themselves and believe it is their responsibility as a leader to build the capacity of others.